Remembering Homecoming 1974.....Starting the Week with GRATITUDE

photos from Kentucky Advocate

I made it. 

Friday was a tough day. It had been six years since my Dad passed away, October 1st, 2015. We were getting ready to play our Homecoming Game against a Western Hills team that would FINALLY be able to put all of their good players on the field in this crazy year two of Covid. I knew Don Miller would have his guys ready and  they absolutely got after us in a tough ball game. 

After getting our tails kicked at CAL, we had a good week of practice, but one filled with distractions and we were admittedly a little rattled. I wasn't really sure who would play and who would not play until 5:15 pm Friday night.... and has it turned out, we had some pretty good players that would not play.  We were thin, and some of our best players that were playing were banged up.  

In one of those moments, where God is telling you He loves you, I am walking in the complex Friday night to get ready for the game and someone yells, "David!" Nobody calls me David anymore so I keep going and hear it again. This time I look to see who is yelling and it is Lynn Harmon...a wonderful family/church/FCA friend going back to when I was four years old... really more family than friend. I am thinking she has come to check on me because it is the day that Dad has died. But, she has no idea. She does say that Steele (her husband, and one my Dad's best friends) is waiting on me in the office. Sure enough, Steele is there visiting with my coaches. We have fun hearing some old stories and it is a great visit that I really needed. Steele is one of those special people that when he is there, it seems like my Dad is in the room.  Not surprisingly, I get a little emotional as he walks out the door, but thankful for the visit and the very real manifestation of God's love that I have just experienced. 

Our game goes down to the wire and we are fortunate to win. It was a great combination of being happy for our kids and a huge relief that we have survived one of those weeks and one of those nights that not much had seemed to go our way. 

Saturday night as I drove by the HS, and saw all the cars for the dance, I remembered my very first Homecoming at Mercer County in October of 1974. The Scotties had won and were having a really good season, on our way to what would be the first winning season in school history. I was with my Dad after that Friday night game, up at the HS. I think we were working on video or maybe washing uniforms... not sure. The homecoming dance, I think, was taking place. I am not sure how, but I think we found some country ham biscuits that were awful good.  I say, "I THINK" because I was 9 years old. I definitely remember the night, but some details are a little foggy. I am sure of this, my Dad was very happy, and everyone we bumped into that night was awful excited about the win and the football season.  And, although I was very young, I was able to realize something really cool about what was going on.... the Mercer County people really appreciated my Dad. Football had been awful tough at Mercer County. My Dad's team was having unprecedented success. The Mercer folks appreciated my Dad, not just because they were winning more than ever before, but because they knew he loved those young men he was coaching. 

I have always been very thankful for the Mercer people and my Dad's experience there. Robert Allen's death at Boyle took a huge toll on him. And, things got awful tough on the field from 1970 until he left after the 1973 season. Even at only eight years old, I remember well my Dad's last home game at Boyle against Garrard. I remember being behind the home bleachers, on the end away from the elementary school, watching the game, and thinking..."we are getting better and we are going to be really good next year."  Somewhat of a strange thought for an 8 year old, but I had been around enough football and it was important enough to me that I could tell the Rebels were getting better and our best days were ahead of us.  My Dad didn't get to be there to enjoy those good days that were ahead for Boyle, but he loved his Mercer County experience and the people there sure made him feel appreciated... and I was thankful for him and that he had that time.  And, now for almost 50 years, I feel a tremendous sense of gratitude for those old Mercer folks from the mid 70's. They made my Dad feel appreciated and wanted. I can never repay or thank them enough for doing so and that gratitude has stayed with me the rest of my life. 

As I get ready for this week, gratitude sounds like a great perspective. I think about another old coach that I love dearly, Alvis Johnson, who has gone out of his way to support me and our program as we work to build something that our community can be proud of and will help our kids. I am thankful for Coach Johnson who has been there for me, going back to 1982 when I was on the opposite sideline. I am thankful for parents that get their kids to practice at 5:30 am every Wednesday. I am thankful for coaches that work like crazy to give our guys their best chance to win. I am thankful for the greatest and most unselfish wife in the world who has supported me for 30 years of marriage and being a head coach through a bunch of great times, but an awful lot of tough ones as well. I am thankful for a community that supports Titan football and our kids. I am thankful for old friends that check on me during tough times, celebrate with me on the good days, and help me be a better person, coach & follower of Christ. I am thankful for administrators, volunteers, officials, concession workers, video guys, radio people, and custodians who make Friday nights happen. I am thankful for old guys that once wore gold, red, white, black, or blue helmets who are still family and keep in touch. I can keep going, but you get the idea. 

It's hard to be unhappy when you are thankful. It is tough to be selfish when you count your blessings. 

Go have a great week.

#GRATITUDE

The Annual Talk from an Attorney: Helping our guys make good decisions

One night after an away game, I get off the bus to go in my office and I have an unexpected visitor, who had followed our busses home.  It was the mom of a female student from the HS of our opponent.  She was not happy with one of my players and began to make threats. A good friend of mine was an attorney in town. So I called him, around midnight, to get advice on the best way to proceed. 

Fortunately, there was nothing for her to pursue and my player had done nothing wrong. I can speculate as to why she made that trip. But, from the incident, we began an annual meeting with this attorney and my players. He said he didn't want any more midnight phone calls!

So, first at Mason County, and now at Mercer County, once during our preseason "camp" an attorney will come in during lunch and talk to our kids about what types of stuff will get them in trouble. It usually gets real quiet. You can tell by the looks on their faces that they are often surprised at what choices can lead to problems. 

Of course there is no way to know for sure, but my guess is that these annual meetings have kept a bunch of guys out of trouble. It is one of the best things we have done to prevent problems. As a Dad, I am glad that my sons have sat through three of these meetings, each. It never hurts to be reminded that there are serious consequences for poor decisions. And, those consequences can be life-changing and longterm.

At Mercer County, Richie Bottoms gave us or talk this year and has done so, going back to 2016. He is the Commonwealth Attorney and played for my Dad, in the early 70's at Boyle County HS. My Dad was very proud of Richie and it is always good to see him. 

This annual meeting is done to protect our kids now and in the future. It is a great way to communicate to them that we care about them and their well-being, off the field. However, it also has a very practical part that can impact on the field success and winning.  Players getting in trouble, the distractions, and even being removed from the team can most certainly impact the success for that particular season. Yes, we care about our kids AND we want to win!

Entering season 30 as a head coach, this is one of the best things we have done to help our kids. I would certainly encourage head coaches to do something similar for their student-athletes. 

Trosper w/ Richie Bottoms 

Good Friends, Wise Friends... when to speak up and when to shut up

Love going to the beach. Never heard a crab or pelican say one bad word about any of my friends. 

"Coach, I don't care what everyone else says, I still like you."  Wow.... NOW I'm feeling good! Lol

Heard a good story the other day about a school superintendent.... That Superintendent was getting phone calls/complaints,  EVERY DAY about his head football coach.  That Superintendent chose to support his coach, but he did not tell his coach about the calls.  He could have gone to see his coach... ."I get complaints on you constantly!"  But, he chose not to do that. 

AFTER the coach had built a championship program... THEN he told the coach about those phone calls. But, during that time, he kept those calls to himself. The reasoning, he didn't want the coach to worry about the complaints and he didn't want the coach to lose focus on what he was trying to accomplish in building that football program.  Today.... that football program is elite. That was a WISE decision made by the Superintendent. 

Do other people come to you and bad mouth your friends?  Hopefully it doesn't happen often, but it can happen. 

Here's a thought... don't tell your friend. Defend them, but you don't have to tell them something that is negative. Now, if it is constructive feedback, that 's different. If the person blasting your friend is someone they have to trust, you can tell them that also.  But, if there is no good that will come from sharing that exchange, don't tell them. It can just cause problems down the road. 

Some of my best friends... they have got edgy personalities. It seems like some of the edgiest personalities are also very successful.  And, usually when someone is bad mouthing a successful person, it often comes down to jealousy. 

The next time your "friend" is telling you about others that have been talking bad about you... be careful. Is this really someone that you can trust?  Is this someone that has your best interests at heart?

James 1:19 is full of wisdom...be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. 

When I was younger, I was very naive. Since my intentions were good, I believed that as long as I explained myself, others would agree and see things my way. The older I get, the more I realize, the less said the better, in many situations. But, if people ask and want to talk, honesty and transparency are the route to go. That will never change. 

Along those lines, be a trusted person so your friends can vent to you. I've got a handful of guys, they vent to me. Some times when they call, it seems like a contest..."how many curse words can you fit into one sentence?"  They are furious! One time, a good friend was on the speaker phone. Scared my dog to death. She ran upstairs and hid under the bed. 

I call them to vent as well... and hopefully fewer cuss words. On a good day, zero. But, we need those friends so we can vent and get stuff off our chest.  The best part after those exchanges, the good friend never repeats a word that was said. 

If you can listen and then keep your mouth shut, you have an opportunity to be a GREAT friend. 

A fun alternative... next time one of your friends is getting bad mouthed, tell the person.... "Well, I know where he is. Let's go see him and tell him to his face!"  Those conversations always end pretty quick! 

When in doubt, keep your mouth shut. It will benefit everyone, most of the time. 

Dr. King, Bluto & General Eisenhower....what they might have in common

 I love Bluto's speech at the end of Animal House when he mocks his fraternity brothers for being scared. 

Over the years, in several situations, I've had friends, well-meaning, caution me about what I say and who I say it to. I appreciate them looking out for me.  And, there have been times their wisdom was needed. 

But,  I always hate to see how we can fear influential people. Or, we can fear speaking out for what is right.  In those times, I always imagine telling General Dwight Eisenhower before he launched the D-Day invasion, what we are "scared" of. I think he would get a chuckle. Or, telling Dr. Martin Luther King in the heart of the civil rights struggle, what we are scared to say.  Would he smile?  Roll his eyes? Or, maybe think..."Good grief... I wish that was all I was facing."

The Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. (Proverbs 9:10) Sometimes, we don't fear Him enough. I might make the argument.... maybe we are scared of the wrong things.  But, this fear of speaking up for what is right to the establishment... I want no part of it and I sure don't want us to pass that on to the future generations. 

Tomorrow, go be you. Don't be stupid. But, don't be scared. If you do get scared, just imagine Bluto teasing you, or having to explain to the greatest general and greatest civil rights leader of all time, what you fear.  Let me know how that conversation goes! :)

Head Football Coach: Reality Check

McDonald's in Maysville

Very much a bittersweet time. Jonathan Thomas has been family for 25 years. He has just resigned as the HFC at Mason County HS  to take over head of transportation. Congratulations to Jonathan! He was a freshman my first season at Mason County in 1996. We then coached together. We have been through much together over the past quarter century.  And, he did a super job as their head football coach. I am very appreciative of all that he has poured into that program for so many years. I am also incredibly proud of him.

His resignation reminded me of a story:

About a day after I resigned at Mason County, I was standing in line at McDonalds. 

Keep in mind, this has been 19 years of pouring your soul and guts into a program, community and kids. It is where you have raised your family. I was excited to go to Mercer County, but leaving such a wonderful place that I loved dearly, with great people, I was really struggling with all of the emotions.

So, in McDonalds, someone recognizes me, turns around, and says, "How will the football team look this season?"  My response, " I think they'll be pretty good, but I am going to Mercer County."  Their reply, "Who do you think the next coach will be?"

Wow! Not, "sorry to see you leave", "thanks for working like a dog for 19 years", "good luck at Mercer", etc. Who's the next guy?..... Are you kidding me!!

It hurt. In less than 24 hours, at least to some folks, I really didn't matter anymore. 

Don't feel sorry for me. That is absolutely not the point. God has blessed me and I have had an incredible life and journey. My reaction was wrong. I was being sensitive and weak. 

My point... all you head coaches.... you better take care of your family and closest friends. When it is all said and done, they will be the ones that are there for you.  Your value does not come from what you do. Your value does not come from the public's evaluation of you as a head football coach.  It comes from who created you. Don't forget, you have an audience of ONE, Jesus Christ.

Jonathan is going to do great as head of transportation. This is a wonderful opportunity for him and his family. But, over the next few weeks, some people are going to say some dumb things!   That's ok. This is just a heads up to other head football coaches.... don't get wrapped up in the wrong things & start thinking your value comes from a scoreboard or the opinion of others. It does not. 

Make sure you are investing in your wife and children. Invest in those that will be with you, no matter what you do or how much success you enjoy. 

And, on a positive note, all those people that hate your guts and think you stink as a coach.... when you are done coaching, they won't be around either.   :) 

Who Likes You? ..... Who Cares!

 

Talked to my old Coach this week. I know this, he's got my back and will be there whenever I need him. 

Interesting Conversation this past weekend. 

Someone said to me... "It is so hard to tell who likes you and who doesn't. People are two-faced." 

Being "liked" is incredibly overrated. And, it is fleeting and fickle. The people that like you on Monday, by Thursday their opinion may be totally different.  Being a head coach(and many other leadership roles)  can be  much like Holy Week.... on Monday you are the hero. By the end of the week, you are enemy #1. 

Colossians 3:23 makes it clear. We have an audience of One. Trying to please people is impossible, futile, and even when successful... temporary at best. Serve God, do what is right, and let the chips fall where they may. 

Quit worrying about who likes you or trying to figure it out. It is a huge waste of time and energy. And, really, why care? It is useless information that means nothing. 

What we need to figure out... 

1- Who can I trust?

2- Who has my back when times are tough?

That is going to be a small number. And, that is ok. If you are at "ONE", you are blessed and fortunate. 

In fact, maybe this should be our frame of mind.....

Am I trust worthy?  The people that need me and depend on me, do I have their back when times are tough?

Now we're talking!  

Have a great week and go be that person that others trust and they can count on during the toughest times!

Chris Lofton Stories: Wings, Panthers, FTS and One Bloody Chin (Trosper's)

It could be the region tournament in the Fieldhouse, the finals at Rupp Arena, or even Putnam Stadium.... all of those places, Chris Lofton was HOME. 

Chris was a 1st Team All State WR at Mason County HS. It was so much fun coaching him. Hard to believe but 100% true... as great of a basketball player he is, he is an even better person.  A few good stories or info on Chris:

1- He kept me torn up that he was going to Fleming County. When he was little and we would do summer camps, we would divide up and play touch football at the end. He would always say, "We are the Panthers!"  I think even then, his sense of humor and how smart he is, he was just needling me to get me going. It worked.  In HS, he would do his conditioning test in June before leaving on his AAU circuit in July. I would give him a ride home. His house was on the Mason-Fleming line. Good grief I was shook. Thank goodness he stayed in blue and white!

Photo by theguru, BluegrassPreps

2- Knowing it was unusual for a high profile shooter to play HS football, I won't lie to you... as discreetly as I could do it, I tried hard to keep him happy.  Chris loves to eat. He would say, "Coach, what are we having during three a days?" My response would be, "What do you want?" That's what we got. We sunk some money into those meals.... but it paid off. He was a strong student. His Mom & Dad ran a tight ship. He loved the wings from Greg's Pizza. Occasionally, we would get wings for the guys that had all A's and B's... and I knew that would always include Chris, and he would like that. Whenever he would say to me, "Coach, when are we getting wings again?" My response would be , "Tomorrow!"

3- Usually Chris would miss some late July practices because of basketball. That was fine with me. I was always just glad that he came back and was playing football.  His first week back of his senior year, August, we are getting ready to play the defending state champs, Breathitt County, in the Recreation Bowl. Coach Ullery is working some other guys because Chris has not been there. We look awful. I get frustrated. Finally, I say, "Coach, can we put Chris in?  He is going to play against Breathitt." Coach Ullery points at him and puts him in at WR. C-Lo says to Coach Ullery, "It's ok coach. I just like to watch him yell at you."  :)

4- In the Rec Bowl that season, we played at 5 pm and it was hot. About middle of the 2nd quarter, Chris comes to me and says, "Am I going to rotate?" I said, "Yes. We are taking you out at halftime. When halftime is over, you are going back in."  

5- Chris shot basketball... EVERYDAY, including football season. That did not bother me at all. What Chris did, playing both basketball and football at a high level, is tough. It takes a high character guy to pull it off. Chris has ELITE character. I trusted him. He was a GREAT teammate. He was not going to get hurt during football season, shooting basketball, unless it was something crazy. Because he is such a good person, he knew getting hurt would let his teammates down. He loved those guys and wanted to do all he could to help them win championships.  Besides, I knew his dream was to play big time college basketball. My role was to HELP him reach that goal. Not interfere, fight him, be territorial, etc. That would be dumb and selfish. It would be wrong.  

6- One Christmas Eve, Dustin Grutza shows up at my house to get the key to the weightroom. I don't have it. C-Lo has it and he is lifting weights on Christmas Eve of his senior basketball season. He was addicted to the weightroom. His favorite lift was straight leg deadlift. He was a warrior when it came to bench, clean and squat. People have no idea how hard he worked in the weightroom and how physically strong he was. Many nights, especially in basketball, he was a man among boys.  Very few basketball players attacked the weightroom like he did. His HS basketball coach, Kelly Wells, was way ahead of his time. He put all his basketball kids in weightclass and told me to take care of it.  I was always so proud to watch our basketball guys. We were a strong, physical team that beat the snot out of many opponents. No one intimidated our guys. Our basketball kids were talented, but they were also hard-nosed and would fight you. 

7- FTS... Feed The Stud. Greg Nord was at U of L and was recruiting Chris to play football. When he came by that spring, I was working on our script for the Rec Bowl, and making sure that Chris was getting the ball, early and often in our first game. I had never heard that expression before, but Coach Nord used that phrase and it stuck.  From then on, that is what we called the plays that specifically went to Chris each week.  If anyone was jealous of Chris, they knew better than to show it. But, I really think that was rare. Everyone knew he was a great person, unselfish and a great player. 

8- One night, about 10 minutes before Chris & the Tennessee Volunteers are going to play Florida on TV, Trosper slips running up the steps and busts his chin wide open. Blood gushing everywhere. Stephanie looks at me and says, "Do we need to go to the ER & get stitches?' My response, "Chris will be on in ten minutes. I'll run to the drugstore, buy a butterfly bandage, and do it myself. " Chin looks great today! Trosper being the 3rd child and a male.... the story makes a little more sense. 

9- One summer, took JCB to a UT football camp. We are in their new indoor football/athletic complex. I look through a glass window and see portraits of two people... Pat Summitt & Chris!

10- Over the years, several KY HS football coaches have expressed to me their appreciation of Chris and that he played HS football.  He proved that you can be a great HS basketball player and play HS football. No one loves basketball more than Chris Lofton. But, he enjoyed football and he loved his teammates in the football lockerroom. 

There are more, but you get the idea. Chris Lofton was a great athlete, but even better person. I am sure I'll watch some basketball this March. And, I especially enjoy watching the Titans and Lady Titans. But, I have to admit, I got spoiled watching Chris. In my mind, the month of March will always belong to Chris Lofton. 

Photo by theguru, BluegrassPreps