Making a Significant & Positive Impact as a Parent: Three Simple Steps

This morning I had a QB workout with Paul Briney & Kamden Morley at Nelson County HS. It was my second workout with Kamden and third one with Paul. They have both continued to work and do the drills. Their improvement really stood out. I am proud of both young men.... they are workers and well on their way to being good HS quarterbacks.  

Paul is right-handed. Rolling to his right, he struggled a little with some details. We got those things ironed out pretty well. When it was time to work the left side, I told him, "Today is my Dad's birthday. He always told me, 'right handed quarterbacks throw better when they roll to their left because they have to get their shoulders square when they go to the opposite arm.' " Sure enough, Paul works bootleg to his left three times, all three passes are right on the money.  I had to smile and it felt like my Dad was having a chuckle as well. 

Even after seven years since he passed away, my Dad's words and actions absolutely live on in my heart and mind. Why is that?  

He did these three things:

1- He was present.

2- He did the right thing. (Most of the time)

3- He said the right thing. (Most of the time)

He had to work long hours, often. But, if he could be with me, he was. Or, he found a way to take me with him. His example was big. As I got older, he let me make most of my decisions.  Because I wanted to be like him, most of the time, I could figure it out.  His example had a much bigger impact on me than any list of do's and don'ts. I have tried to be the same with my own children. 

If we want to make a lasting, positive impact on our children, we need to be present when we can, do and say the right things. Not sure what to do or say?  Get out our Bible! 

When our kids are adults, and they hear our voice and remember our example, lets make sure the content will help them be the very best version of themselves and all that God has called them to be!

The Way I Heard It... Bear Bryant and Adolph Rupp

Pikeville QB Camp, 2022- If you want to find a QB, head to the mountains of eastern KY

It has been so long, this is either a first hand story or second hand. I do know this, the KY HS Assistant Football Coach in this story was a good friend of my Dad.... so he may have very well told me himself.

Here is the story...

A KY HS Football staff is on a campus visit with Coach Bear Bryant at Alabama, for spring football practice. Coach Bryant's staff meetings start at peculiar times, like 5:03 am, etc. This young assistant coach does not want to show up late for the Alabama football staff meeting. He gets to the meeting extremely early. He ends up sitting in there with Coach Bryant. Somehow, Adolph Rupp comes up in conversation.

In so many words, Coach Bryant said this.... He had no problems with Coach Rupp or basketball. In fact, says they were friends. He said the problem with Kentucky was that during his time, there were so few KY High Schools playing football, therefore, there were so few KY HS football players. He said it was tough to compete with the best of the best with such low numbers. He did NOT say KY HS Football was bad... he just said there are not enough guys. 

For what it is worth, I believe this story and believe this is what Coach Bryant said. 

Coach Bryant left UK after the 1953 season.  President Eisenhower did not begin the Interstate Highway system until 1956. Not only were the football numbers low, it was tough to get somewhere in a hurry, especially in the state of Kentucky. The shape of the state and the terrain make that tough. And, of course, communication was all mail, telephone, or telegraph. There was no internet, cellphone, or email. 

I think it is safe to say, Coach Bear Bryant would be pleased and impressed with the current state of UK football in regards to on-field performance, coaching, players, facilities and the commitment from the administration & athletic department.  I also believe he would be pleased to see the quality of HS football in this state. We have a bunch of good players and coaches.  I would think our numbers are much better now than during his tenure. 

Tonight and this fall, we will see some awful good football played under the lights across the Commonwealth, as well as at Kroger Field on the Saturdays coming up.

Go CATS!

2005 KY All Star Coaches hat- we kicked Tennessee's tail 

Things I wish I had done differently: #1 - Handling Finances- Spend more now, Save for the future less

For the first time in my life, I do not have a football team this fall. Even before I played and coached, my Dad's teams were my teams. I remember well the 1969 Boyle County Rebels (4 years old), passing out equipment, the first game at Greensburg, the big win over Danville, the team Christmas Party at our house... and much, much, more.

 After 30 years as a head football coach and a lifetime of HS football, it has been a huge adjustment... for everyone in our house. The morning after I resigned felt like I had landed on new planet... where in the world was I?  The offseason was tough, the preseason has been even tougher and more so than I had anticipated.

In hopes of having a team in 2023, I am using some of this time to learn, reflect, and improve as a coach. Through QB workouts, consulting, video analysis, staff meetings, visiting other programs, practices, scouting, etc. it has been fun and beneficial, already, to see some different approaches to the game.  Over the next few weeks, I am going to take a hard look at some of the stuff that our programs did in the past 30 years. I will also look to new coaches and new ideas that will make me better. And, as already has happened, much of what we did at Paris, Mason County, and Mercer County ... it has been confirmed (at least to me) that we did some awful good things for our kids and program.  Things I wish I had done differently, things we did well, changes for the future... I will share those periodically in this blog. 

The first light bulb that has come on for me, that I wish I had done differently.... I did not spend enough of our money on the teams I coached and I was too concerned about leaving a healthy bank account for the coach that would replace me. I was way too concerned about "spoiling" the kids by spending too much money on them whether it be gear, food, trips, etc. "Entitlement" is the evil monster that all of us well-meaning adults are battling in the 21st century.  It has really bothered me that I didn't do more with them. Now, to WIN, every dime was spent that would help us win. But, I wish I had spent more time on fun and fellowship. 

For 30 years, overwhelmingly, the kids I coached did what we asked them to do. And, most of them gave a good effort in doing so.  They showed up for practice at 5:45 am. 

Before the heat index rules, they practiced in full gear  when it was very hot. They accepted me and our staff pushing them to be their best. They were the recipients of constructive criticism, that at times was too harsh in delivery. They were exceptional young men that had the discipline, patience and the toughness to deal with me as their head coach. Now, everything we would do was in their best interest. But, were there times that I was too confrontational, over the top.... and how often did I overreact?  A bunch!

What saved me?  My kids knew I loved them and they were good young men. But, some of those times were not much fun. Bottom line, I wish more money had been spent. When the guys would get new gear, their eyes would light up. They would be appreciative and say thank you. Sharing a meal was a great time, whether we talked about football or not. 

Along these lines, I spent way too much time worried about the next coach and the program after I was gone. Is the future important and do we need to leave football program finances in great shape... absolutely!  But, I definitely think I shortchanged the guys I coached to make sure things would go well for the players after us.  I wish I had spent more on my guys. They poured their guts, tears, blood & sweat into Greyhound, Royal, & Titan football. An extra perk here and there would have been more than earned & justified. 

My next team, if we have money, we will spend more of it. We'll still save for the future, but it won't be life or death to leave a big balance of funds. 

I'll tell you this... I've coached some awful good young men the past thirty years and each day that passes, I appreciate them more and more. They were really special. I am very much a blessed old coach and the guys I coached.... they were the BEST!

#FindAWayToWin