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| October 1995- Paris |
I can't be sure, but I think I have seen them, all three, over the last three months. At a minimum.... feel pretty confident I saw Monster #1, twice. I really don't know for sure, but it looks like even if you make alot of money, those monsters are still there.
Most of the time, when a coach changes jobs, there are 3 monsters fighting in the coach's head and heart.
Monster #1: The grief over leaving the previous job, most of all, the people and relationships.
Monster #2: The excitement and anticipation of a new opportunity.
Monster #3: The overwhelming amount of work that goes w/ starting over...day 1.
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| JCB, me, Trosper, Larry Harris |
Along with the 3 monsters, comes the moment my Dad always warned me about. Paris, Mason & Mercer, he told me, "At some point, you will ask yourself, 'What in the hell have I got myself into?' When that happens, don't worry about it. Just keep going. Keep working."
For my Dad, those moments were when he came home from his first scrimmage at both Boyle and Mercer. He was overwhelmed. But, both of those programs got much better and much faster than he would have anticipated in the moment.
I can remember that moment, for me, at all four places when it happened. At Paris, it was in the weightroom (Lance Cordray was in there lifting) right after Mr. Goins had told me I was going to replace Coach Gruneisen, who was leaving for Bourbon Co. HS. As bad as I wanted to be a head coach, that was not a good day. At Mason, I was sitting in the office w/ Coach Hester, ordering equipment. At Mercer, it was walking up the sidewalk of the complex, looking over at the practice field... realizing that starting over after 19 years at one place, was going to be a workload like I couldn't imagine.
At Anderson County, it was a year ago, today, April 11th. I had just got my keys. Without going into detail, the dang equipment room was a nightmare. A couple old coaches bailed me out. I called Sam Harp, a KY HS football legend who had been at Anderson. He is also incredibly well-organized and I knew he would have figured out how to make it work. He started laughing. I said, "I've got to put what's valuable in the equipment room and the rest in the laundry room." He said, yes, that is the only way to make it work.
The other old coach that got me through that moment was my Dad. Although he is no longer alive, I could hear his words and hear him laughing at me. I could also hear him saying to me, simultaneously, "You are nuts for jumping back into this" and "You are right where you need to be, doing what you were meant to do."
Back to these three monsters. For me, the day I left a program, Monster #1 was by far the biggest. The emotion of the ending is hard to put into the words. The relationships. The shared trials and triumphs. The collective accomplishments and disappointments. The sheer number of hours and days! When a shared mission that is pursued daily, with all you have in your heart, soul and guts comes to a sudden end...no words can do it justice.
One of the positives about leaving Mercer without a job was that I only had to fight Monster #1. Taking the Anderson job meant that I only had to deal with two monsters. Amazing how much that helped both situations.
Leaving Paris for Mason, and then Mason for Mercer...brutal.
My former Pastor, Paul Gibson, told me once, "The bigger we love, the bigger the grief." Monster #1 is tough beyond words... but turns out....that is a great thing.
Monster #3 can eat Monster #2. Monster #3 needs strict parameters. For Anderson County, this was improved. But here is the foundation of the : Transition Plan .
To me, only a fool would start a new job without a very clear, organized plan for day 1 and week 1, in addition to what must be done ASAP.
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| October, 2023- Anderson Co. |
So, which monster wins? For me, they grow into one single BEAST. That Beast only gets bigger every year. But, it is a GOOD BEAST! This Beast becomes all the people you love, going back 55 years to my Dad's first team at Boyle. It grows into hundreds of stories... the people at ACHS are learning to avoid me or they are in for at least two stories per conversation. The conversations and interactions with the players and the coaches on your team stir memories.... didn't this happen in 1994? Is this the same conversation from 2003? The Beast is so powerful, it reminds me on a daily basis of how incredibly blessed I am that I still get to do this. When you are paying attention, you see God's love wrapped up in the totality of this good beast. But, as good as this beast is, it can also be exhausting and overwhelming. That is why I call it a Beast. But, it is a wonderful beast. I can tell you this.... I am going to keep it alive as long as I can.
I really don't know, but I sort of think Coach Saban and Coach Cal may have felt the same way.
*Nick Saban photo by David Carpenter
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