This weekend was a big time jolt and life will certainly never be the same, not even close. Friday, 3/3, 11:03 pm, the text(from his sister Lynne) on my phone said, "He's gone 💔." My wonderful friend and treasured teammate, old #82, Alan Hendren, had passed away.
Not sure of the exact year, but Alan moved to Mercer County when we were in elementary school. My first memory of Alan was playing football at recess in the big field next to our school. He was fast!
He later moved to Mount Washington, but he did return for our senior year of high school football, the fall of 1982. His return was a difference maker. Alan developed into an excellent wide receiver. And, he was an even better friend.
In a lifetime of HS football, one of my happiest memories will always be that October night in Berea. Freezing cold. Early in the game, we are on our own 21 yard line. Just as I let go of the ball, I get a facemask in the back. I felt that facemask for the next several weeks. But, with my face in the dirt, I can hear our fans that had rode the pep bus, cheering, but not real loud with my face buried on the 17 yard line. Old #82, Alan Hendren, had caught the ball and taken it the rest of the way for a touchdown. That moment and the people there will always be special to me.
Greg Sims, another old friend, played at Boyle and like me and Alan, enjoys telling those old stories. Greg told me one night, playing DB for the Rebels, he thought he had picked me off. Right as he reached out to make the interception, Alan plucked the football out of the sky to make the catch.
Alan struggled early in the season. But, we would stay after practice and throw. When we hit week 4, he was on fire. If he dropped a ball after that point, I don't remember it. In basically 8 ballgames, according to Donald Mac Yocum's Mercer's Friday Night Heroes, Alan had 7 touchdowns and 651 yards, receiving. In 1982, those were huge numbers! I never gave up on Alan, and thankful that I didn't make that mistake. In 30 years as a head coach, when my assistants wanted to write a guy off, I would remember Alan and tell those guys to keep coaching that young man.
Friday nights were incredibly important to both Alan and myself. We truly loved those games when the lights would come on. Alan was also really good. I tried real hard! But, we definitely had a special bond that was forged on those Friday nights.
As adults, we always tried to stay in touch. We talked about those fall of 1982 Friday nights, often. Alan and I, it is fair to say, we somewhat did live in the past. We loved HS football(1982), more than we should. Guilty. But, that is why we were good friends. When other people would roll their eyes, Alan and I could tell those stories, over and over... and then want to hear them again.
When I got back to Mercer, we were able to get together and talk more than we had the previous years. One of the best things about Alan, I never had to read his mind. He would always tell me EXACTLY what he thought. I would disagree and even get mad some times. But, I knew he was on my side. And, when it came to things like merger, hometown, etc... I knew he was telling me things that other people were thinking, even if they would not say it to my face. For that insight, I was always grateful, even if I didn't like the content.
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Classmate & great friend, Chris Horn, recognizing Alan as our "Dog"
November of 2018 |
One conversation went like this:
Alan: Now, Dave, you can't get mad at me when I tell you what I think you should do.
Me: That's fine. Just don't get mad at me when I tell you that you can stick your suggestions up your rear end.
Alan: Now Dave, you're getting mad.
Me: No, I'm not mad. But don't YOU get mad when I tell you what you can do with your suggestions.
😎
Real friends, Loyal friends... can have those types of conversations.
So... what is this magic of Friday night HS football? Why did we love them so much? Why did we have this bond? Why did we love each other, over 40 years after I threw him that last football under the lights?
The answer comes from Vince Lombardi during his HS football playing days. You can read it in David Maraniss' When Pride Still Mattered: A life of VINCE LOMBARDI. After a loss, Lombardi had what he called "a locker room epiphany."
As he sat slumped on the bench in his grass-stained red & blue uniform, he was overcome by joy, a rare feeling for him. Nothing on the sandlots felt quite like this. He understood that he was not a great player, but he had fought hard, given his best and discovered that no one on the field intimidated him, no matter how big or fast. He was confident, convinced that he could compete, puzzled why other players did not put out as much as he had. He felt fatigue, soreness, competitive yearning, accomplishment- and all of this, he said later, left him surprisingly elated.
Under those lights, together, on those football fields in central Kentucky, for Alan and I, that was the first time in our life that we were the best versions of ourselves. We gave our all and our best for each other and our teammates. We believed we could win and we definitely had the type of chemistry that a QB & WR will have that are great friends and spend time working together. When no one else believed in either of us, we believed in each other. Over the past 41 years, that experience made both of us better men.
James 1:17 reminds me... my friendship with Alan came from God and I thank Him for that life-changing friendship.
Going forward, I want to be, for other people, what Alan Hendren was for me. I want to help others to be the best version of themselves, not just in that moment, but moving forward. Don't get me wrong... we both stubbed our toes, often, since those great times. But, when we have been at our absolute best as grown men, we were those guys that were teammates in 1982.
A challenge for all of us, the next time you are listening to some old music, and a song from the fall of 1982 starts to play, remember Alan, and go be that person that helps others to be the very best that they can be.
Billboard Top 40- September 25, 1982
Old #82, I sure do miss you. But, you have inspired me to be a better person going forward and to try to do for others what you did for me. Love ya Alan and ... thank you.
