Mixed Emotions: Real, Part of Life, the Right Mindset

This past week I got to watch part of my first game at Mason County. We played at Bath County and it was the fall of 1996. In 30 years, I am not sure I ever had a team more excited to play a game than those guys were that evening. It was like they had finally figured out how to prepare and play the game of football and they could not wait to see what was going to happen.  They knew they were going to play well and they couldn't wait for kick off. It made an impression on me and was one of the best nights, ever.

As I watched that game this past week, I also remembered the other emotions of that night. My old Paris team was playing their first game that same night. I had been a Greyhound for eight years. I had an uneasy feeling about not being with them that night.  I had two strong emotions rolling at the same time.... excited to be a Royal and to watch those kids in blue, but really missing my Paris guys and thinking about them and how their first game would go. 

Mixed emotions are actually a big part of life. When we are younger parents, our life is chaotic, stressful and busy. But, for me, all three of my kids little & under the same roof... that was a great time that went by way too fast.  

I really wish I had a football team right now. But, the extra time with my family, especially with Trosper who only has a few weeks of HS left, I am thankful for that blessing. 

And, as much as I want a team to coach, NOW, would I give up anything from the past 30 years as a head football coach, or a lifetime of HS football going back to being a little kid with my Dad's teams.... ABSOLUTELY NOT. 

It meant the world to me that I got to be the head football coach in my hometown. I miss my kids and my coaches. But, I am also thankful that all of our work these past seven years left our program in great shape for a community, school and kids, I love.  I may not like my current circumstances, but I can sleep at night because I know the effort we poured into this program and how far Titan football came during that time.  To see the program now and where things are... absolutely wonderful. 

Some of my former players, coaches, and good friends are in awful tough leadership spots right now. Some of those spots are life and death.  Some of those leadership roles have taken a toll on them mentally, emotionally and physically. I hate it for them because I love them so much. But, the other side of the coin.... these guys are GREAT leaders and high character people! Is there anyone better than they are for these tough jobs and tall tasks?   No. I wish they didn't have to endure the trials and tough times. But, I also have to understand they are carrying out God's mission for their life. And, at the end of the day, there is no better place to be than right in the middle of who God has called you to be!

Good grief I miss my Dad. I can still get emotional missing him, often. But, you know what is much bigger than missing him... I had a GREAT Dad.  Everyday, he impacts my life, my character, who I am, how I treat others, and especially how I serve God. Often in the toughest times and toughest decisions, I can hear his voice and anticipate his thoughts and advice.  Would I rather have my Dad alive, but it not be John Buchanan.... ABSOLUTELY NOT. 

My Mom's mental illness was brutal. It took a huge toll on our family, especially my poor Dad. I won't lie to you, if I could take her mental illness away and it had never happened, I would do that. But, one day I was meeting with a player who was telling me about the mental illness of one of his parents. He told me, "there is no way you will understand what I am talking about or can relate to this." I told him, "What you are describing to me, on a scale of one to ten is about a 3 or 4. My Mom was a 9 and a 1/2!"  His jaw hit the floor.  The relief in his face was incredible. He had finally met someone who had walked in his shoes. From that time on, he had someone to talk to who understood his life and all the hurt, pain & dysfunction that goes with mental illness. 

Being happy is good. Joy is better. You can be happy with mixed emotions, often. You can experience joy and gratitude, all of the time, with mixed emotions. We don't always choose our circumstances. But, we certainly choose our mindset. 

I was wearing orange & black in September of 1989, teaching history at Paris HS and making the daily walk to Garrard Park for football practice.... where were you?   I mean...  you do know that song, don't you? 

If you want to get an idea of what a Roger Gruneisen Thursday post-practice talk looked like.. basically an old rock and roll guy being who he is.... watch this video:  

Mixed Emotions: Rolling Stones, Billboard Top 40 September 1989

Working for Roger was pretty cool. Like having Paul McCartney or Mick Jagger as your Boss. 

Mixed Emotions are a very real part of life.... just ask the Rolling Stones...      😎 

Cold Weather and Early Mornings.... Why I love them

In the good old days, we were tough! If you don't believe me, just ask an old guy. 

How tough we really were, or we were not, we could debate that all day. And, the three-a-day practices that served us so well in getting ready for the season, those are no longer permissible.  They took careful planning, an ocean of Gatorade,  and we never did them for more than two days in a row( Wednesday & Thursday, one practice on Friday; Monday & Tuesday the next week were three-a-day... after that, we were one practice a day). Our guys were acclimated and ready to roll when that first Friday night or Saturday night under the lights in August took place. 

But, a couple things that will never change... cold is cold and early morning is early morning. Both are GREAT opportunities to help our kids get tougher. Anytime our guys can learn not to allow the circumstances to determine their effort and performance, we help them.  Anytime they can give their best effort for their teammates when they don't feel like doing so, they grow as young men and teammates. The team gets stronger. It is tough to have a great team without having great teammates. 

One spring practice day, the temperature was in the high 30's. Before we got started, I asked our guys, "How many young ladies do you think are out in the sun today?"  They looked at me like I was crazy and said, "None!" I told them, "Exactly! We are doing spring practice when it is cold!  When the weather gets better, and the young ladies are out and about, the other schools will be doing spring football, but you can hang out with the girls!"  They liked that thought. We had a good laugh and went on to have a great day of football and getting better. 

On a very practical note, before school practice became the best time to have a productive day the longer I coached.  Before school, sharing the facility was not an issue.  Most of the time, other sports practice after school. And, most faculty meetings are after school. In the 21st century, people are busier and busier. But, if you start practice at 5:55 am, there is a good chance that most people have nothing else on their schedule... other than possibly sleep.  The only negative of early morning practices is that kids have to find transportation to practice. But, that is also an opportunity for team building. Our kids and families step in to help each other get to practice on those early mornings. The huge positive in regards to transportation is that the kids can ride the bus home after school.

In the 21st century, we can still help our guys be tougher. We may need to be more creative. And, some of the methods used in the past were not good and need to be left behind.  But, yes, we can still help our guys get tougher and be successful. 

Cold weather and early mornings can be a coach's best friend. Besides, EVERYBODY plays football in warm weather. The BEST teams play when it's cold!