Missing your Loved Ones over the Holidays... this is how I handle it

Opening Presents with my Dad one Christmas

I am still like a little kid... I love Christmas. I enjoy most of what goes with it, and especially being with my family.  Christmas has meaning and has significance because it is a celebration of Jesus Christ's birth. 

This will be my 5th Christmas without my Dad and gosh I still miss him. It seems like this time of year I think about him even more.  But, I still want to keep my focus on the birth of Christ and also making sure that I don't drag down my family when it is their turn and their time to enjoy Christmas. 

Here is an approach that has really helped me to cope with missing my Dad during Christmas.... I remember specific times and details about my Dad, and thank God for each of them.  As I go through those one by one, my mind and attitude begin to change for the better.  I could list hundreds of those details, but to provide some examples....

1- walking from Nicholasville Road to Commonwealth Stadium to the UK-TN game,  in the rain, in 1973. Having a conversation with my Dad. He was telling me that I need to choose a job based on what I love doing, not based on how much money I would make. 

2- Christmas Eves, often, Dad coming home early from work ( he worked part time selling cars in the offseason) and playing the old Monday Night Football game. The one with the red box. You would put the mini-record in the red box. It would play and tell you the outcome of the play. On one side of the record was the offensive play. On the backside of the play, the other player could select the defense to be used on that play. My Dad had the patience to sit there for a couple hours or more to play that game with me. He always told me that he couldn't and wouldn't buy me a bunch of stuff. But, he WOULD spend as much time with me as he could.

Those are just a couple examples. I could give a bunch more. But, you get the idea. 

When I am thanking God in DETAIL for my Dad, my attitude changes. I become less sad and become thankful. I become thankful I had a great Dad. Gratitude fills my heart, as opposed to sadness.

The best part, the same God that gave me a great Dad and all those details, memories, events, etc..... is the SAME God who's birth we are celebrating! My future, the future of my family, is in His hands as well. As I reflect back on how wonderful God has been, I know that whatever I will face down the road, there will be blessings... and HE will be with me through the tough times. And, because God sent us HIS Son, the event we are celebrating... I WILL see my Dad again!

Philippians 4:8....in my mind, I must stay connected to God. 

Besides, when I have a bad attitude, I can hear my Dad's voice between my ears,  chewing me out and telling me to get my head out of my rear end and to make sure his grandkids are having a great Christmas because this is their time. When I was growing up and he would chew me out, I wanted those conversations to end as quick as possible. It's a little different now. Merry Christmas!

Year 28 is done: What is next and trying to do better

CAL vs. Mercer County, 1st round of playoffs, 2019

Our season ended this past Friday night in a loss to a very good CAL team. It was the first round of the playoffs. We defeated CAL in the regular season but were unable to do so in November.  This finishes year 28 as a head coach... 4 at Paris HS, 19 at Mason County HS and now 5 at Mercer County HS. 

I am very proud of the 2019 Titans. We played some very good football this season and improved substantially from where we have been the past 4 years. Our final record was 8-3. Our 3 losses were to Boyle County (4A #1), DeSales (3A #1 earlier in the season) & CAL (3A #1 at the beginning of the season). We were in a district with CAL & DeSales.  Our district was called the "group of death." We were also a 3A Top Ten team this season.

I have never been a good loser and it is only getting worse. The next few weeks will be tough. A good friend who is the same way called today to check on me. He is a good guy, and about as crazy as I am.  I really did appreciate the phone call. 

So, to cope with no football while the season continues in Kentucky for the next four weeks, this is my plan:

1- Count my blessings.

2- Serve Others.

3- Work to become a better coach. 

I am embarrassed at how bad my attitude is when the season is over. God blessed me with outstanding young men to coach this season. They worked their tails off and did a really good job. I've got a wonderful wife and family. My boys and I are looking forward to our annual Notre Dame trip. In December, John Combs is marrying Caroline who is an incredible young lady. The blessings are overwhelming. But, I will still feel like vomiting each afternoon when it is time to practice. On Friday nights with no game, it is especially tough. We will go out to eat as a family and pretend there is no football being played.

When my mind starts to go to dark places over the next few days, I will quickly try to refocus on the three things listed above.  

In one of Tony Dungy's books, he said that he knew that at some point, God would allow him to be satisfied with the job he had done as a coach. I am still waiting for that day. I trust God and believe that day will come. 

Why share this?  Because I know there are coaches like me that feel the same way right now. If this can help them navigate the next few days, that would be great. 

And, yes, Stephanie is a saint for putting up with me. :)

Wednesday morning practice... why we do it and the benefits

In 2007, Mason County Schools decided that every Wednesday we would have an early dismissal for students and that the teachers would meet after school until 4 pm. Our players would have to go home because they could not be on campus unsupervised. We could not practice at 4 pm because the heat that particular August was really bad. I told our guys we could practice at 8:30pm, after church, or we could practice before school at 6:30 am. I thought 6:30 am was best, but I also knew I needed to let them decide.

The kids overwhelmingly decided to go with 6:30 am. It became their favorite practice of the week and most Wednesday morning practices were good ones.  We would be off the field everyday by 7:45 am so they could get to school on time.

The kids liked it so much, that when the faculty meetings ended several years later, the kids still insisted that we practice on Wednesday mornings before school. We did that until my last season at Mason County in 2014.

In year five at Mercer County, our guys approached me about Wednesday morning practices. It is tougher here because our county is spread out, our practice facility is off the school campus, and we have to be off the field by 7:15 am. At Mercer County, we would have to start at 6 am to get every thing done. After much discussion and preparation, we tried it for our 3rd game of the season. That was the week following our second Saturday night bowl game. For game #3, our kids seemed fresher and we were able to upset a really good team that had beat us nine of the last ten times we have played.

Wednesday morning practice allows our guys an extra 12 hours of recovery before the Friday night game. Because of the extra 12 hours, our Wednesday morning practices can be more physical and productive than a Wednesday afternoon.  The extra time allows our guys more recovery time to feel good before the Friday night game. I also like that at 7:30 am on Wednesday morning, we know as a staff who we have for the week and who is unavailable. We have no injuries at 5 pm on a Wednesday.

Wednesday morning forces a fast practice tempo. We can't waste time. We have to be off the field by 7:15 am. Our scout team offense this morning ran 29 plays in less than 20 minutes. That is a decent pace for the starting offense. That is a GREAT pace for a scout team offense.

Wednesday morning practice gives our guys a day to be a kid and go home after school. They can get a haircut, go to a doctor's appointment, and date the girls who's boyfriends are at football practice on a Wednesday afternoon!

Our coaches get an afternoon with their families. We are practicing when our children are in bed. After school our guys get to be Dads.

I believe we are safer. In the early season, the mornings are cooler and it seems we have less injuries. It seems our guys are more vulnerable to injury in extreme heat.

In October and November, it works to our advantage that it is significantly cooler. It helps our guys get acclimated to the cold. I know of coaches that practice at night during the playoffs to accomplish the same thing. 6 am is the coolest part of the day.  7:30 pm in November feels warm to our guys. One morning in Maysville, it was 21 degrees. Our kids would hit the sled and it would go sliding across the practice field like it was on a skating rink. That stuff gets me fired up. We tell our guys that everyone plays football when it is warm. The good teams play when it is cold.

It makes our guys tougher and more disciplined. Tuesday is our toughest practice of the week. Our guys must get home, eat, do homework, get in bed, and be on the field practicing before 6 am. Those demands are good for our young men. More than once, my Mason County guys would be getting ready for the coin toss, look at the captains for the other team, and say, "I bet they wouldn't get up for practice before school." It helps our guys to have confidence. It also brings them together as a team. They appreciate their teammates making the commitment and sacrifices necessary to help our team be the best it can be and win.


I know some colleges have gone to a no sweat Thursday and a fast Friday. Because we give our guys the entire weekend off, we can't have a no sweat Wednesday. But, we move practice up 12 hours on Wednesday and we get a longer break than normal to recover.

I got up at 4:20 am this morning. Trosper and I left the house at 5 am to get the lights on. Sure, I am tired. But, it is a great feeling on a Wednesday afternoon to have the bulk of your game preparation completed.

If anyone has questions or suggestions to make Wednesday morning practice better, please email me at coachdavidbuchanan@gmail.com.  We will have to play great, but we are hoping for 5 more Wednesday morning practices. It has been a bunch of fun coaching these guys and they have become a pretty good football team. Would be great if our last full gear practice of the season was below 10 degrees. I mean... a guy can dream.

The Rebel Bowl.... why I love it

All photos from the Danville Advocate Messenger

Normally, I am not a big fan of August games on turf at 5 pm on a Saturday.  I am one of those traditionalists that love Friday nights and the short week makes it tougher for the following game. We partner with Boyle and do the bowl games on consecutive Saturday nights to raise significant  funding for the athletic departments at both schools.

Over the past five years though, I have begun to appreciate the Rebel Bowl. It gives me a chance to go back to a place where I had a great time growing up when my Dad was the Boyle coach, but I don't have to deal with the emotions of playing a team that use to be MY team.

We moved to Boyle County in 1969 and were there for five seasons. I was four years old in 1969.  I loved my Dad's players and those guys were super to me. I am a much better person today because of them and whenever I can see them or talk to them, I really enjoy it.  I didn't realize it at the time, but those guys were a huge blessing and had a big impact on how I think and how I try to treat others. Their example changed my life.

Many days I walked across the parking lot after school for practice with my Dad. I was with my Dad alot in those days and really wish I could have one more day with him like I did in the early 70's. When our Titans walk down to do our pregame for the Rebel Bowl, I walk past the sidewalk and door where I would enter the HS to go into the football lockerroom. I can still see all those gold helmets freshly painted in the summer of 1969 scattered all over that sidewalk.  Being in that HS, making that walk, being on that field, I most definitely feel like I am with my Dad again.

I also like the Rebel Bowl because I can be at Boyle but we are not playing Boyle. It will always be weird playing teams that use to be my team. I hated being at Paris or Mason and playing Mercer. I thought I could handle playing Paris after I had been at Mason over 10 years, but I was wrong. We went out for the coin toss and I had this awful feeling. I will never play Paris or Mason County unless I have to do so.

Also, Chuck Smith, the Boyle coach is one of my best friends and has been a great mentor for me. I hate him being on the other sideline. I hated facing Coach Gruneisen when he went to Bourbon. It's no fun facing my old HS coach, Larry French, either. I just don't like it. It doesn't bother me to coach against people that are my friends. I am so old, most coaches are my friends and I am glad for it. But, the ones that you have coached with, it just doesn't feel right.

It's only happened twice, but the best part of the Rebel Bowl for me is that the Titans win, I am getting to visit with some old Rebels, and then I hear the Boyle fight song as the Rebels take the field.  It's like an explosion of memories and people you love that overwhelm you in the moment. 

I'll spend the rest of the week listening to old songs from the early 70's, remembering my Dad, those old Rebels, and those wonderful memories.  I will think about old #11, which I have done everyday since September 25, 1970.* I am also thankful I am coaching a bunch of really good guys, my Titans, that I also believe can be a pretty good football team in 2019. Past, present and future, around every corner, are reminders that God is good and has blessed me more than I deserve.

Hope you can be at the Rebel Bowl Saturday night. I know I am looking forward to it.

*16 mm Film & those Gold Helmets

Cracked Ribs....for a second, he was right there

Today I got to talk to Steve Peyton of the Mercer County Sheriff's office. Steve told me he was a senior at Mercer County HS in the fall of 1972. He played against my Dad's Boyle teams and remembered my Dad as the football coach at Boyle.

Steve said one night he was running the ball back on a kickoff. One Rebel had him by the leg. When he tried to spin out of the tackle, another Rebel came in and cracked him in the ribs. Steve said when he got hurt, he remembered my Dad being the first person to run onto the field to make sure he was alright. Steve added, "Your Dad had a gift when it came to working with young people."

It wasn't a long story and nothing that is unusual on a Friday night in HS...  guys get their ribs cracked all the time. But, every time someone tells me a story about my Dad, it feels like he is standing right there with me for just a second.

Friday, August 16th, is my Dad's birthday. It  only seemed right that he would have his birthday right before the football season gets started.  I will miss him but will also thank God that he gave me a wonderful Dad.  One of the best parts of being back home is to hear those stories. Those moments are comforting and help me count my blessings.

Vince Lombardi: The Lombardi You Thought You Knew

Reprinted from the Maysville Ledger Independent. edited by Zack Klemme

Me as a little guy, pretending to be Lombardi's Packer QB, Bart Starr

I’ve been fascinated with Vince Lombardi my entire life. When I was little, Bart Starr was my favorite NFL player and the Packers were my favorite team. I switched to Fran Tarkenton & the Vikings when Starr retired. As an American icon, there is more information than a person can sort through in a lifetime on Coach Lombardi. I’ve read several books about and written by Lombardi. If I listed them all, that would complete my word count for this column! 

The commonly held view of Coach Lombardi is of a hardnosed, win at all costs, dictatorial leader who had incredible success and many regard as the greatest NFL coach, and possibly the greatest football, or for that matter, coach of any sport. Ironically, one rival for the title of the greatest coach of any sport could be John Wooden. From the outside, the two men are very different- emphasis on the outside. On the inside, they share many similarities.I would argue that Lombardi is like all of us – a complex personality who does not fit into an easy to label category. 

Herb Adderly became a Hall of Fame defensive back for the Green Bay Packers. According to Lombardi’s Run to Daylight, the coach was convinced that Adderly’s skills were best suited for offense but he continued to struggle. When Lombardi found out that Adderly wanted to play defense, he switched him to that side of the ball. Most of us given that scenario might envision Lombardi believing that he knew best and insisting that Adderly continue to play offense but that is not what happened. He listened and adjusted his plan.

For me, this picture is a more realistic look at Lombardi. Most great leaders listen to the people around them. In fact, of all the books on Lombardi, Run To Daylight is my favorite. Coach Lombardi wrote it as a diary of one week in the season. I think it gives a much more accurate picture of who he was and how he operated- or at least how he saw himself and/or wanted others to see him. When I read the book, it was not what I expected at the time. But now, his words sound like the words of an outstanding leader and it makes a lot more sense to me in how he was able to accomplish the things he and his teams did.

A common mistake we all make is to assume we know what a person thinks based on their political party, religion, etc. Almost every president, at some point in his term(s), has members of his own party angry because he did not believe or do what they thought he should. Lombardi was a great coach but still a human being like all of us- a complex mixture of ideas and beliefs that have nuances that are, at times, even difficult for us to articulate.

From a football perspective, one of Lombardi’s most lasting and significant influences is the idea that you do a FEW things extremely well as a football team as opposed to trying to do several things, or trying to trick your opponent. In Run to Daylight, he says, “every game boils down to doing the things you do best and doing them over and over again.” At Mason County, we may try to make things LOOK different, change the tempo, etc. but we try to do the same things our kids have done from the beginning when playing for the Knights. Most very good coaches believe in this philosophy and it is a big part of the culture of football.

Of course Lombardi was a great leader and understood football. To me, the Lombardi “mystique” came from, for lack of a better term, his spirit and connection to the essence of what makes football a GREAT game. In David Maraniss’, When Pride Still Mattered, Lombardi shares an experience he had as a player in the locker room after a game in high school which his team had lost. He called it a “locker room epiphany.” 

“He was overcome by joy, a rare feeling for him…He understood he was not a great player, but he had fought hard, given his best and discovered that no one on the field intimidated him, no matter how big or fast. He was 
confident…He felt fatigue, soreness, competitive yearning, accomplishment- and all of this, he said later, left him 
surprisingly elated. …It was an intoxicating sensation, one that he would want to experience again and again for the rest of his life.” (p. 30)

For me, what he describes, is why guys talk about HS football long after it is over. It is why for some guys they continue to play the game as long as they can play. And, although coaching is a long way from playing, it is part of the reason that coaches keep walking through that office door long after their family and friends think they have lost their mind and need to move on. As a coach, when you see your players have that type of experience or as Lombardi said, “epiphany”, you have helped them get what your players want and need most from football. For some guys, the football field is the first time you ARE the man you want to BE as an adult. Lombardi got that.

The Day I almost got my tail kicked bad at Bright Leaf Pool

In the spring of 1983, I was hired at Bright Leaf as a lifeguard and also to take care of any odd jobs or maintenance that was pretty simple. I don't know how to do a whole lot, but I was at least strong enough to replace a motel room AC unit. When it would be really hot, it seems like most days were spent carrying those AC units up and down the steps of the motel on a dolly. Those things could get heavy pretty quick.

Early in the spring of 1983, I was picking up trash in the parking lot. While doing so, an older guy drives up in a beat up pick up truck. His clothes are dirty and looks like he couldn't rub two nickels together. He gets out of his truck and is not happy about how the parking lot or grass in front of the parking lot looks. He says, "You tell Jerry (my boss) this needs to be cleaned up immediately"... in so many words. I have no idea who I'm talking to. I say, "Sir, can I tell Jerry who all of these instructions are from?" He says, "Sure. My name is Blankenship. I own the place." It was Buck Blankenship the owner of Bright Leaf.

When I did get to lifeguard, instead of "work", most of the time it was pretty good. One Sunday afternoon, though, I was in over my head. A group of golfers was finishing their 18 holes by playing bumper cars with their golf carts on the putting green.  Apparently they had enjoyed drinking a few beers through the day. Lucky me, they decided to come to the pool after playing golf. In this group, a handful of them were pretty big..... 6'4 or 6'5... probably around 250 lbs, etc.  They sat at a corner table with an umbrella at the pool and were having a pretty good time and loud.

My Boss's wife was an attractive lady. As she walks by those guys, they begin whistling and hollering. My boss comes walking down the sidewalk next to the pool. He makes eye contact with me. He snaps his fingers, points at the table of guys, and says, "David, take care of that!" I'm thinking.... good grief, what am I going to do??

I walk over to the table and say to them, "Guys, that is my Boss's wife. You can't do that." They stand up and I am looking up at all of them. The one right in front of me says, "You know, we can set you on your ear right now." I said, "Yes, I know that. I am just doing my job. You can't yell at her."  I guess he felt sorry for me. He told me he understood and ok, that they would leave her alone. To say I was relieved would be an understatement!

If you go to Bright Leaf Pool for Memorial Day weekend, have a great day. And, please don't whip the lifeguard!