Follower of Christ, Husband, Father, Teacher & Coach

photo by Cheri Johnson

Through 1/31/20, thirty high schools in Kentucky will have new head football coaches for the 2020 season. A common theme for many coaches getting out of the profession has been to spend more time with their family and away from the time consuming demands of being a head football coach.

All of this turnover had one of my favorite young head football coaches in the state concerned. How could he be a good husband and father to his three children, be a successful coach, and above all, serve Christ in His/his Church? 

There are no easy answers, but we do have God's promises. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." That tells me that we can do it, but not in and of ourselves. 

Matthew 6:33 tells us what our priorities should be.... HIS KINGDOM comes first. Colossians 3:23 makes it clear that we serve an audience of ONE, our Lord & Savior.  Well... there is some relief.... pleasing people is not required. It is impossible to do so and requires more time than a clock can hold, so that is a GREAT truth to remember. 

So what does this look like on a daily basis and what are some ways we have tried to balance this out as a family?  How does all of this fit and how do we keep first things first?

On a very practical level, a huge difference-maker for us was that Stephanie had the kids at football as much as possible. She would take them to McDonalds, get them a happy meal or ice cream, then come hang out at practice. Whenever we would have a water break, I would go talk to her and the kids. When my oldest was 3 months old, I was holding him  during our first blue-white scrimmage at Mason. The live of our family revolved around church, school, and football. We were together whenever we could do so. Toward the end, Stephanie would bring me lunch every Friday at school and Trosper would come with her.

On a more humorous note, we lived in a neighborhood near the practice field and I had a loud voice. Every now and then, Stephanie would take the kids on the back porch and say, "Just listen and you can hear your Dad!"

photo by Arpan Dixit & The Harrodsburg Herald

Since both boys played football, it was naturally built in that we would spend time together. They both have been big helps to me in the offseason. Going to camps in the summer with John Combs and Trosper has been a good time for us. Trosper also helps me with my Quarterback Camps and does a really good job with those. I think it is safe to say that John Combs enjoys his job at Edward Jones more than painting weight equipment or installing bermuda sod on the practice field.

photo by Cheri Johnson

With Emma it has been tougher. She did help me mark the practice field one hot July morning. Once was enough for her! When we went to Mercer her junior year, I would try to find her through the day to see her and check on her.  For the first couple weeks in our new school, she would come to my office during lunch and we would have a piece of cheesecake together and visit. I was getting my tail kicked every Friday night and she was adjusting to leaving her hometown.  We helped each other get through that time. 

The Making of a Titan: Emma Buchanan

Taking each of those roles, one day at a time, is absolutely necessary.  That perspective makes all that needs to be done, manageable. I never had the discipline to be a "one day at a time" guy until the fall of 2015. My Dad was dying of cancer.  My Mom had more than her share of health problems.  We had just moved to Harrodsburg. Our oldest son had started college. Our two younger children had just changed schools.  Becoming the head coach in my hometown, my first season we started out at 0-5. I was overwhelmed beyond words. "One day at a time" became my means of survival & coping in an incredibly difficult situation. 

Something that gets lost in this thought process often ..... never underestimate a coach and his family's ministry with his football players and community. I love being with my family, but I also know that a big part of me serving Christ is coaching football.... being with my kids, coaches and part of the community. As an old coach that loves Jesus, I am really thankful for young coaches that serve Christ! Their wife and family are a huge part of that ministry. Players see everyday what a Christian husband, wife, father & mom look like. 

I've made more mistakes than I can count. But, one thing that has been a priority, going back to the summer of 1988, is purposely and deliberately seeking God's wisdom and guidance in regards to WHERE he wants me to be and WHAT he wants me to do. I am confident that HE has had me where he wants me since that summer. I have peace going forward because I know He will have me where He wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do. Matthew 6:33... if I can keep my focus on "Seeking Him", HE will guide me. 

At age 54, going into year 29 as a head coach, there are definitely some questions .... How much longer will God use me as a football coach? When do I give this up so that Stephanie & I have time to do some fun things while we still have the health to do so?  Will I have more time to coach with adult kids, or will I be missing out on family events because I am at the football office?  

Those are tough questions for me. But, Matthew 6:33 and a "one day at a time" approach will give me the answers and I will be where God wants me to be.